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  • Ryoga

Don't Criticize or Condemn and Talk Like Better Than Others

Updated: Dec 21, 2023

Man in hat and mustache on phone with hostage in background

In the realm of interpersonal relationships, the way we communicate plays a pivotal role. It is crucial to ensure our dialogues are respectful, empathetic, and devoid of criticism or condescension. In this comprehensive guide, I'll walk you through behaviors should avoid during conversations to improve the harmonious relationship with others.

Table of Contents

The Impact of Negative Communication

The words we utter can leave lasting marks. They wield the power to impact people's feelings and perceptions about us. When we choose to criticize or condemn, it can lead to discomfort, fostering animosity. Striving to maintain a respectful tone of voice in our communication can help us avoid unnecessary conflicts and build strong, meaningful relationships.

One serene sunset evening, a neighbor elder man struck up a conversation with me. Soon I noticed his dementia was pretty bad this time, and as a consequence communication was difficult. And he started lecturing me something like you're gonna want to say 'Of course, you don't have to tell me! You think I'm damn?', His words appeared to condescend to me as if he believed he was superior and absolutely right, even though he doesn't even know 1 % of me. I was irritated by his words and attitude even though I knew he had dementia. 'How could he say something like this as if he knows everything about me?' But I realized and asked myself 'Is it only him? Even not as much as him. Do I sometimes misunderstand someone and talk like know everything and am better than someone?'. Maybe I do.

What Behaviors May Make Us Appear Conceding During Conversations?

Criticizing Others

We criticize someone's behavior or mistake. However, it leaves someone awkward and tense if we do it directly. But sometimes we need to criticize to help our friends or family members to improve their certain behaviors. In that case, we should either criticize indirectly or talk about our own mistakes before criticizing them.

Condemning Others

When we receive strong disapproval or condemnation, none of us would feel great. We need to remember that everyone has their unique journey and experiences. Instead of condemning, we should focus on understanding their perspectives and respectfully expressing our feelings. Avoid condemning others at all costs.

Asserting Superiority

It's human nature to want to showcase our knowledge and skills in order to appear better and smarter than others. However, when this desire manifests as a constant need to prove our superiority, it can distance us from others. Striving to maintain an equal footing in our relationships is key to fostering mutual respect and understanding.

Saying 'You're Wrong' to Others

Telling someone they're wrong can stir negative emotions, especially if it involves their deeply held beliefs or values. However, how can we be certain that we're right? If we can ensure that we're 100% right most of the time, we can go down Wall Street and make millions of dollars daily. Never say 'you're wrong' to others' opinions and beliefs. But there are times we want to prove we're right. In such a situation, prove it through action rather than argument. Actions can often speak louder than words, so demonstrating the validity of our viewpoint through our actions can be more effective than mere arguments.

Not Admitting Mistakes

When we were wrong, admit our mistake. Refusing to acknowledge our errors can come across as arrogant, which is why we see people never admit their mistakes as arrogant. Perhaps you have met teachers who refused to admit their mistakes and didn't hear you out. Again, if we were wrong, admit our mistake It shows that we're open to learning and striving to improve ourselves. which could, in turn, inspire others to do the same.

Acting Like You Know Everything

Have you ever experienced someone talking to you just like that person knows everything about your life and situation? Claiming to know everything about someone else's life or problem can come across as arrogant and ignorant. We can never fully understand someone else's experiences or feelings. Even family members are ultimately others; we don't know that person as much as they do. Therefore, we should not talk like we know everything about others.

Judging Others

Judging others is another behavior that can create barriers in our relationships. Everyone has their battles and challenges. Instead of passing judgment, we should understand others.

Treat Others How You Want to Be Treated

The golden rule of treating others how you want to be treated is a timeless principle that can guide us in our interactions with others. Embracing this rule can help us avoid behaviors that can strain our relationships, and foster an environment of mutual respect and understanding.


The way we communicate significantly impacts our relationships with others. We all want to be right; after all, who enjoys being wrong? This desire to be right sometimes leads us to attack others when they hold different opinions or point out our mistakes. However, avoiding criticism, condemnation, and the assertion of superiority can help us build stronger, more positive connections.

Remember, every conversation offers an opportunity for personal growth and self-reflection. Let's seize these opportunities and strive to become better communicators.


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