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Don't Lower Yourself to the Level Who Bothers You

Illustration depicting a person practicing stoicism to control their temper

Dealing with negative individuals can be a challenging part of our daily lives. However, allowing such negativity to impact us can hinder our personal growth and development. This article explores strategies to maintain our composure and not lower ourselves to the level of those who seek to drag us down.

Control Your Temper

Is there anyone who annoys you? Is there anyone who humiliates, criticizes, condemns, complains about, or drags you down? That's frustrating, and you might feel like, 'How dare they?' They don't know what you've been going through, what you've been doing, or the effort you've been putting in. That can certainly make you angry. You may even want to do the same thing to them as they did or said to you. But don't lower yourself to their level.

I know how annoying it can be when those negative people try to humiliate you. However, it's important to keep your temper in check and not react to their words with anger.

It's difficult to remain calm in such situations, but reacting with anger only brings you down to their level. Why stoop to the level of someone who is dumber than you? It's not worth it to respond emotionally and engage in arguments.

Winning an argument may satisfy your ego temporarily, but it ultimately achieves nothing. It only upsets or disappoints them, that's exactly what they did to you. This creates unnecessary animosity enemy and does not contribute to a constructive resolution. Instead, focus on controlling your temper and refrain from hurting their feelings to satisfy your feelings. Don't lower yourself to their level.

Restraint: The Key to Emotional Intelligence

Mastering restraint is challenging yet crucial. Losing our temper and letting emotions take control is easy, especially when dealing with negative people. These moments are traps that can derail us from our path of personal growth. Those who try to drag us down often do so out of their own insecurities; they seek company in their negativity. But remember, you are not like them. Resist the temptation to retaliate and lower yourself to their level.

What Kind of Person Are You Mad At? Think About It Before Seeking Revenge

Who are you mad at? Who criticizes and condemns you? Before seeking revenge, think about what kind of person they are, what they are addicted to, and what they have achieved. If they are on the opposite side of where you want to be, why seek their approval? It's good if they dislike you because they represent a completely different type of person from whom you aspire to be.

In stoicism, the best revenge is not to be like them.

Ignore or Try to Change? A Dilemma

When faced with humiliation, criticism, or condemnation, should we ignore the person or try to change their negative attitude and behavior? There's no one right answer to this dilemma. Ignoring them is the easier option; you can simply walk away and avoid interacting with that person again.

However, trying to change their negative attitude is much more difficult. Even if you put in a lot of effort to change someone, they won't change unless they want to because they are happy about being unhappy.

If you attempt to change your friend's negative attitude or behavior through a positive approach, soon you may notice that they disagree and even mock your efforts. They're deeply entrenched in their prejudices and believe that they are right. However, if they are serious about changing themselves for a better future, they will be open to listening to you without condemnation.

Those who are open-minded and willing to listen are worth investing time and effort to support.

Learning From Negative Experiences

"In every negative experience, there's a positive and something to learn." - Celebrity Miranda Kerr

Those negative attitudes people are obstacles, but they also offer valuable lessons. From these encounters, we can learn resilience, patience, and the value of maintaining our integrity. Instead of replicating their behavior, strive to be the opposite – open-minded, understanding, and respectful.

These experiences can help us grow personally and professionally, teaching us the importance of emotional intelligence and not lowering ourselves to the level of negativity.


Don't lower yourself to the level of those who seek to upset or criticize you. Maintain your composure, practice restraint, and consider the source of the negativity. Decide whether it's best to ignore them or attempt to influence positive change. And finally, learn from these experiences, using them as stepping stones in your journey of personal growth and development.


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